Everyone exept first are the fragments of talks on irc by polish surfers, taken from bash.org.pl and translated by me. It's not so funny in English, because jokes are heavy to translate, but maybe it'll make a little smile ;p
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Little Red Riding Hood goes through the woods and suddenly old pervert wolf jumps out of the bushes.
- Ha ! - saying wolf - now Red Riding Hood, I'll kiss you in place where noone have been kissing you before !
- Well, for fuck sake, it may be the basket.
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<sacrum_profanum> ffs, when i think about this, that every sunday i have to wake up at 6 o'clock it makes me fuckin MAD
<me> why is that, so early?
<sacrum_profanum> to work, for fuck sake
<me> lol, and where do u work?
<sacrum_profanum> I'm a priest...
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<rad> My doctor claims that I am paranoiac. In fact he didn't tell me this, but I know that he thinks it.
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<semir> there is so big pressure, that it would rip up your balls
<beta> I'm a girl
<semir> So it would rip up your brain
<shadow_no> She's a girl
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<absinth> omg
<absinth> my dad have finished all call of duty
<misiek> What's wrong or bad in it?
<absinth> ye, but before last mission he asked me if he can change weapon to other than colt...
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<kreks> i am so ugly
<wojt> and i am too fat
<noisy> nobody is perfect...
<nobody> thx
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<YooY> My friend's brother, student IV year of medicine, found dead cat in a street. Not thinking too long, he took it and carried to MacDonald. He has come to the bar, drop the cat, everyone was just staring at him. Then he told " It's the last, which i am delivering to you" and run away
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<Octa> So what exacly u do on this AGH? (one of the polish universities)
<dcm_Marecheq> grill, drinking spirit from Ukraine
<Octa> and in winter?
<dcm_Marecheq> in winter we do not grill
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<sap> When u write him sms, that you invite him for a beer, he would be faster than a rapport
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<fuiks> U have six apples. Half you give to Ann. How many left?
<aifgan> Five and a half
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<k> ok, i've got an idea
<k> I can come to you with a disk drive
<k> in a pocket
<j> hmmm
<j> There could be some problems...
<k> and beer
<j> but we can find a solution ;p
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<ziom> Do you go on the university tomorrow?
<milosz> yes
<ziom> kidding me?
<milosz> U've started
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< trochej> I got an info that women that take an initiative in a bed are happier.
< trochej> So i told my wife to take it...
<@mauso> And?
< trochej> She went sleep. She's saying that she's happier now.